me, today

Lyle and I are just hanging low today, drinking herbal tea, reading and listening to Nina Nastasia. I don't really have to "work" today, per say. All I have to do is cook a bunch of food for a dinner party, but that is about all! So, my boring (happily boring, for once) day will consist of cooking soup, making cornbread, looking for a few knick knacks for my kitchen, going to spin class, and topping it off with some much needed yoga. 

My new changes in diet don't seem so drastic after all. I've realized that I really don't eat that much sugar anyway, unless I'm with a bunch of girls and they want to indulge in chocolates, milkshakes and cupcakes. I will now be bringing my own treats to girls' nights. I would say, the most difficult (besides caffeine!) is not having a glass of red wine after a long day of work. I just feel that red wine and cooking goes so well together for unwinding after a long day. I do have to say though, I have a lot more energy and can wake up easily in the morning when I don't drink! That's a major bonus!

As for gluten free, I have been without trying for awhile now. Its just natural instinct for me I guess.  I'm not a huge bread eater or sandwich eater, so I think this change has been by far the easiest! Corn is hard though... I do love polenta so much! 

What else? Oh, coffee. This is the saddest part. I.love.coffee. Simply put. Not to mention, I just got some really nice coffee and a new percolator for it! Muy triste. Coffee is something that I don't think I'll ever gift up. Its just such a comfort thing. I would trade coffee for wine or sugar or gluten any day!

Dairy. I am a cheese whore. Tilamook extra sharp cheddar is my weakness. It sits lonely in my refrigerador drawer, waiting for the day that I cut off another piece. Honestly, I don't even crave it at this point. It's been nearly a week without dairy and I'm going strong. I don't know if I'll eat dairy again following this little detox. We will see how I feel later. Maybe just cheese on occasion?

So that's me in a nutshell. I have been cycling every day for nearly 3 weeks now and I'm feeling great about it! Now I just have to make this all habitual :)

effort

this blog, is about to get significantly less cool. however, i pretty much don't care at this point because i don't write in it anyway.

for the past several years, i have been obsessed with my body and its relationship with food. i love biochemistry. every little thing about it. while i'm waiting in line at the grocery store, i read as much as i can about how specific things can heal, what is most detrimental to your body, how to get the best nourishment from particular foods, etc etc. i spend hours upon hours per week reading food blogs and trying new recipes. i plan meals for my friends, i plan meals for myself for each day of the week, i make lists of things to try, i am constantly writing down new recipes, and i am totally that girl in the doctor's office who rips out all of the recipes from the whole living magazines.

so here it goes. yesterday was my first day starting my own little makeshift cleanse. its an easy one for the most part avoiding the following ingredients:

1. gluten products

2. alcohol

3. caffeine

4. dairy 

5. sugar

6. corn products

7. soy products

pretty basic. i stole a few ideas from the whole living magazine, from the book Clean by alejandro junger, md, and another book called The Body Ecology Diet by donna gates. all of these i highly recommend. i would say that the whole living ideas (the Jan 2012 issue) are pretty simple and for beginners who just want to adjust their eating habits. in this issue, it basically allows you full blown meals for each meal of the day, snacks in between and you actually get to have some pretty hearty meals. the Clean method is a bit more of a challenge because it makes you fast for 12 hours, no snacking or anything each night. also, you have to "eat" liquid meals for at least 2 meals a day, and keep your "cooking" to a minimum... meaning that you need to simply heat things as little as possible and throw them in a blender, just so that you can increase its nutritional value and your body will truly digest it this way and replenish your cells. i am trying to do this as much as i can, however i'm not too strict on it because i feel like little adjustments are just as beneficial right now. additionally, i am avoiding sugar more than this book says to. junger allows dried fruits, agave, and some other sweeteners, but i am strictly sticking to stevia because of my own beliefs. The Body Ecology Diet is a great read. i would say that it is definitely more of a guide to a lifestyle change. it's big on finding ways to adjust your diet to what your body needs, based a lot on blood typing and other factors. this book in particular really lays things out nicely and has a lot of interesting recipes that i have yet to try. i will get more into this later.

so! the first couple of days were a bit of a struggle. not hard, just working out the kinks and getting in the flow of changes.  my meals were as follows;

Wednesday

breakfast: kale, blueberry, kiwi, almond smoothie

snack: cashews + apple

lunch: green salad with turkey lunchmeat, tomatoes and olive oil

snack: apple

dinner: sauteed kale with curried butternut squash and millet

other notes: i went to a 45 minute spin class and did a lot of stretching. 

Thursday

breakfast: blueberry, cranberry, flax smoothie

snack: apple + almond butter

lunch: salmon and salad wit broccoli

snack: none

dinner: curried lentil and carrot soup

other notes: went to a difficult 70 minute spin class. lots of stretching. headaches a bit from coffee withdrawals. drinking lots of water. need to start doing more meditations and skin brushing? 

for the sake of writing letters to my small friends, here's another....

hey you, gus!

so your birthday is tomorrow and you are going to be four years old! time is just flying by, you probably don't realize it though.

to me, you turning four means so much. i have known you since you were about six months old, not crawling just yet... i would carry you around the house in a backpack and you would just gaze around as i cooked and organized, taking you on walks in your stroller, and to the library, reading you picture books (hah!), snuggling with you for hours in your room.

as you got older, you developed an avocado addiction, became very fond of meat, crawled around in the funniest way, where you sort of resembled a small gorilla, swinging around, moving swiftly across the wood floors. you would sign all of these different things to me and we could communicate pretty well. one time, i took you to our little hangout (that we still go to for tea dates) and every single woman in the cafe would marvel at you, as you stared at them with your big blue eyes. you would sit there and do your baby sign for "nurse" to all of them and they would coo at you, oblivious to the fact that you had a one track mind. i would sit and laugh, as though it was our little secret. later, you started saying words such as "truck" and "owl" and now you have the most in depth conversations with me, using such an extensive vocabulary that just amazes me (probably from your smart sister and parents).

the other day, when it was just you and me, i realized how much i cherish our times together.. just you and me. our little tea and game dates are so much fun. you have such a great insight on life and i love hearing all of your little stories, even the ones that you know will make my stomach churn.

the other day when we were picking out acorns together, i told you that we should only pick the ones that were perfect and in tact, you talked about how each and every single one was unique and neat in its own way. i'll tell you a little secret,... i only wanted to pick the pretty ones, but you told me that we couldn't just pick the pretty ones because the ones that were misshapen were just as important as the others, so i went with it and when we got home, we put them into a little bowl and you were right, together, they all looked better with the odd ones added into the mix. lesson learned, take it from gus, he typically knows what's best.

you are such a special little guy. so in tune with how others are feeling, so smart about the way you execute your day, even at age three! you are always making sure you have had enough veggies and steering clear of sugar because you know it makes you feel crummy. you love to take photographs with that old cracked canon digital camera and you have several terrible ones of me stored on that camera that we definitely need to delete... you love to listen to the sound of the rain hitting your windowsill, but you hate it when you wake up and your flashlight is all wet because you forgot to close your window during a storm. you love the morning time, when the day is new and fresh, but its really too bad that the rest of your family doesn't feel the same as you. you love all things orange, you especially loved when i was painting the whole entire basement orange...you would just sit as i painted and painted, telling me how much you loved what i was doing to the basement. you love grabbing your mom's butt in public and pretending that all adults are jungle gyms. you love listening to justin "beaver", even though you don't think all of his songs are good... and i agree with you. you are reserved and only for a special type of person, one that you know you trust. i'm okay with that though, since you trust me, and i'm in on all of your little secrets :)

four years old. your legs are getting longer, you finally have all of your first set of teeth, your hair is getting so long, you no longer use your stroller, you're in preschool (and you just told me yesterday how stoked you were that your dad taught you how to pee standing up...and how convenient it was!)! i do have to say, it bums me out that we don't get to hang out as much anymore because you have started school, but i guess that's part of getting older, we all get busier. but!... my small friend, i am so glad that we are still friends after all of these years, and i am so glad that i came back from traveling to hang out with you again :) seeing you as a three year old has been nothing short of awesome. i'm so excited for this next year to come! (hopefully i will have a little part of it)

so here's to four years old, little guy! let's make it awesome with lots of lemonade dates, walks to the park, farmer's market trips, dinosaur hunting adventures, fort building afternoons, cozy teas, blue toenails, wildflower picking, gardening and gemma hangouts! happy birthday, angus!

much love,
from your friend and fan,
allyce

(and thanks for making me your one special guest to your birthday party)

when the going gets tough, the tough get going... right?

i guess that's what could describe me as of lately. this whole past year has been kind of a blur, a total year of feeling completely lost. i felt less lost when i was in a country where i didn't even know the native language. funny how that goes. after a year though, i feel like i'm finally starting to get comfortable with where i am at and what i am doing. it took me a whole damn year! (which... i guess isn't that long in the whole grand scheme of things)

a couple of months ago, it was that time. time to pay my car insurance for the next five months, almost six-hundred dollars of hard earned cash, gone!...just like that. i know, i know. everyone has to do it, but for someone who has never owned a car in her life, until just about ten months ago, it killed me! just money, i guess, but that's when i realized for sure that i definitely needed to get my shit together and do something where i could feel comfortable with that the next time it came around. hopefully though, the next time i have to pay my car insurance, i will be ready to travel, and not ready to drop six-hundred dollars on car insurance.

so! what did i do? i decided that i needed to find things that i enjoy doing and be proactive and passionate about them! yeah, at twenty three years old, i guess i finally figured that one out. i have been involved with a lot of things that i'm really passionate about for awhile... for example being a nanny and being with the kiddos, being involved in something such as the CSA, which is amazing... working on the farms in south america was a pretty awesome experience that i was passionate about, etc etc, but I guess you just can't limit yourself when it comes to getting involved. (dear god, i sound like a motivational speaker right now)

there are a few things that really stand out to me when i think about what i do with my life and making it meaningful to me.

one of them is art. for the longest time, i have been producing so much artwork here and there, sometimes having dry spells, but mostly having that be a huge hobby and emotional/creative outlet in my life. this next month i am going to finally hang my artwork up in a local coffee shop and get it out there in the public! i'm really excited (and so freakin' nervous, too) because i want others to give me their feedback, and to experience what i have to offer... i have hopes that it will help me grow and give me new ideas to new pieces. we'll see i guess!

the second one is food. so i've been doing CSA for a few years on and off now, i have been a volunteer for about a year now, which is great too.  i sort of wanted more than just a few hours a week though, so i first started with signing the kiddos and i up at the community garden to have our own plot. i have to tell you, this time of year it is flourishing! i can't believe how amazing some of the gardens there are. (we are not that great, but we try!) and i still wanted more, but in a kitchen...feeding hungry bellies... lucky for me, my boss asked me if i wanted to start being their "personal chef" two nights a week, just to cook dinner. i could make whatever i wanted, all groceries would be paid for and that was it! now, for me, this is truly exciting news! i was beyond ecstatic! and this is why... when i was growing up, mom let me have free rein over the kitchen, i could do whatever i wanted, just so long as i cleaned it (which i never did! sorry mom...) AND mom would pay for whatever i wanted to make. when i got to college though, mom no longer supplied these lavish groceries... the cheese, the chocolate, the phyllo pastry, etcetera, etcetera, you get the point. i was eating black beans out of a can. sooo, NOW i get to gain all of my skills back, feed hungry bellies (without a culinary degree ;) ) and get paid for it! wahoo! win-win situation, with a free dinner!

the third is children.  i have worked with them for almost my whole life.  lately, as i volunteer at the hospital, i can really picture myself doing pediatrics. today, while gus and i walked over to our favorite coffeeshop to go to together (he gets lemonade, i get the strongest coffee i can just so i can keep my lids lifted), i thought about how much i want kids in my life for a long, long time. i don't mean like "having babies" and all that nonsense, but just having the young souls in my life from day-to-day really brings a lot of light to my perspective on life. little gus is such a smart guy, and he always has such simple real things to tell me about his daily life. this is one of my more long term goals, i suppose. i see this being a big part of my future, helping children find their way to be happy humans.

so, i guess this long novel of a post was mostly just about how i feel like i am narrowing down my passions at age twenty three. these are the things that i want to see myself working with in the future and i'm pretty happy with these ideas. i guess i'll finish this off sounding like a motivational speaker, as i seem to sound like consistently throughout this post and say, that whatever i am doing now, i'm going to do it with my all. and, with the right mindset, you can get really creative and pay the bills doing things that you love! i can't complain right now :)

letter to gem

dear gem,

though you may not know, you brighten my day every time i see you. even on the days when you have the most bitter taste in your mouth, or when you are barfing in a tin bucket in bed, or when you are slumped over the side of the couch listening to your ipod and ignoring my existence, or when you are hanging on me like i'm some sort of jungle gym and you are absolutely killing my back.

it has been nearly four years now since the first day we met and i must say, seeing you grow into such a beautiful young soul has been so inspirational. you are so creative and i often see a bit of myself in you. if i give you the tools to do something, you create magical things and i love seeing you work so hard within your creativity.

i remember that first day we met, you were sitting on the kitchen counter by the old toaster (that angus burnt his hand to a crisp in!) in a billowy dress, your platinum hair entwined in wildflowers you had picked from the front yard, 5 years old or so. you wouldn't even look me in the eye, but you were waiting patiently for the cookies to come out of the oven, while your brother slept upstairs, the warm scent of vanilla wafting from the oven. later, on a warm summer day, you and i went to the park, just us. i brought some crayons that i had stashed away and some paper and we sat in the shady grass by the library and colored, not saying a word. i watched as you drew cats and babies and flowers. an hour or so passed and finally you started talking. you talked about your garden and how much you loved snap peas. you talked about how you would like to visit the sustainable living fair to learn about solar ovens. you talked about how much you loved iced coffee with a touch of cream, decaf of course. you talked about how you were sad that your parents got rid of your cats, which you loved so dearly, all because of your little brother's allergy to them. you talked about how much it soothed you to have someone read you stories, but your parents didn't have a lot of time to do that right now with the birth of gus. you talked about how much you loved cheese, and how much you loved stringy, stretchy cheese pizza. you really were quite an exquisite little gem and at that point, i knew we would be friends for many years to come.

i remember that day when you found out that you were dairy intolerant and mac 'n cheese dates would be no more for us. i remember the day when you first got your guinea pig, cappuccino and you were so excited to show me his timid little body running about trying to hide from us. i remember the day you came home from school in tears because of some jerk who blamed you for some stupid classroom misunderstanding. i remember the day you got your hula hoop and you were immediately so good... but i was not, and i still am not. i remember the day you lost your first tooth, and you kept losing them after that and you looked so cute when you smiled. i remember those many friday nights where we would build forts after putting gus to bed, get out a flashlight and read and laugh and play games.

now, nearly four years later, you are nine. you love to knit, you love to swim, you love to ride your bike (not right now though because of your rough fall on the elbow), you love to paint, you love grits with garlic and butter, you love guacamole, you love to hike, you love your best friend laurel, you love your little brother and your mama and dad, you still love being read to.

i know life troubles you sometimes, and you are very sensitive to your surroundings (and your little brother drives you absolutely nuts sometimes), but you are a powerful little human. some days, i'll walk into your room and immediately know that you are in a funk. though challenging, you never take your troubles out on me, you are always kind... sometimes very whiney, but on those days we find ourselves snuggling with a book in your bed when its raining or taking walks in the forest (and stepping on cacti! ouch!) and drinking tea in the hammock with a good story. i don't think you are aware of how comforting it is sometimes just to snuggle on the couch and tell stories to each other. i cherish each moment spent with you, even when you are sitting on the side of the road telling me that your legs hurt and you're giving up.

don't grow up too fast, you have the rest of your life to be a serious adult. keep your life simple and stick to almond butter and honey sandwiches for lunch. roll around in the grass like we always do, climb trees, skip, build forts. listen to your parents, they are some of the most amazing people i've met in a long time (and so are you). enjoy the time that you spend at home and in school, because the real world can get tough sometimes. continue to be kind to your brother, he can be difficult, but he is pretty fantastic. continue to paint and draw and knit. continue to love animals and continue to give to people and animals in need.

you are gold, gemma spoon :)

love always,
your pal,
allyce